At home

This can be a tough time for fathers. While the mother and baby tend to get the majority of the attention and concern, you are still emotionally involved and, on top of this, may often have to look after other family members as well as keep going to work. It can be particularly difficult if you have a full time job and are not used to spending time organising day-today practicalities for the family.

Fathers are not alone in finding this a difficult time. Family and friends may also be worried about the baby and are often anxious to know how to help without getting in the way.

Friends and extended family can be a great help. Other parents who have been through the experience say that friends dropping round with a ready cooked meal can be a real help, as can looking after toddlers or picking up children from school. This can help you to spend some unhurried time in the hospital, supporting mum and getting to know your new baby.

Many people are not used to asking for help and find it difficult to accept any offers. Now is a good time to learn! Friends and family are often happy to help people who are caught in a crisis, particularly if you give them specific practical tasks to do.

One idea is to keep one friend fully informed of how your baby is doing, so that all other people can phone that person for updates.

At work

Clearly it makes sense for you to tell your boss that you are in this situation. If your employers know what is happening, they may be able to give you more flexibility. If you feel stressed by other people’s questions about your situation, it may be worth explaining things to one colleague at work and then asking others to get details from that person. Some people find it helpful to plan what they are going to say before going in to work each day.

With baby

Remember that you can join in with caring for the baby in the same way as mothers (eg bathing, nappy changing, Kangaroo Care). This can help you and your baby get to know each other, as well as take some of the pressure off your partner. You may both benefit from simple things like going to the canteen, having a cup of tea with each other and discussing how things are going and how you both are.

* Copy courtesy of Bliss